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Asking Eric: I’m a grandparent, but I don’t like holding babies

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The author, a 78-year-old grandfather of five children and eight grandchildren, expresses long-standing discomfort and aversion towards babies and infants. This sentiment impacts his interactions with his grandchildren and causes him distress.
  • The author, nearing 78, has five children and eight grandchildren. He has never been fond of babies, finding them fussy and unpleasant to hold. This dislike has persisted throughout his life.
  • His discomfort with infants extends to his role as a grandfather, causing him to avoid holding his younger grandchildren. He experiences anxiety and dread when faced with this situation.
  • This discomfort has been a source of internal conflict and regret for him over the years. He acknowledges the societal expectation that grandfathers should dote on their grandchildren but struggles to meet this expectation due to his innate aversion.
  • He mentions his children are aware of his feelings, and while they don't express overt disapproval, he senses their unspoken disappointment. The author feels a sense of guilt and inadequacy because of his inability to embrace this aspect of grandfatherhood.
  • The situation has caused him to feel like a failure and has negatively impacted his relationships with some of his grandchildren, particularly the youngest ones.
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