Beware of Frankensteining in a Relationship
Psychology Today
Last updated: June 15, 2026
"Frankensteining" is a trending social media term describing the act of one-sidedly trying to change a partner into one's ideal version, rather than accepting them as they are. This behavior stems from the story of Dr. Frankenstein creating a monster from assembled parts.
- The practice involves attempting to morph a partner's appearance, interests, habits, behavior, or personality to match one's preferences, often toward an envisioned "ideal" partner. Changes can range from career advice and wardrobe updates to cosmetic surgery.
- Frankensteining can be intentional, a conscious effort to remake a partner, or unconscious, where one believes they are simply being supportive or helping the partner improve. The key distinction lies in aiming for significant alterations to who the partner truly is, rather than supporting their genuine self and aspirations.
- Reasons for Frankensteining can include dating someone for specific superficial traits while not accepting the complete person, loneliness, desperation, or a desire for control. It is crucial to recognize this behavior in oneself or if it is happening to you.
- If you are Frankensteining, acknowledge the extent of your desire for change and consider whether you are with the right person. If you are being Frankensteined, it's important to have an open conversation with your partner about being accepted for who you are. Recognizing and addressing Frankensteining early can prevent a detrimental relationship dynamic.
